1. |
Aunt McGee
02:19
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The paper flies, and babies cry
A woman comes from the country side
She packs her things, the luggage sings
It hasn't been used in a long time
She must know something
That the others don't
Her name is Aunt McGee
She can take you down with only her knee
She takes her car and drives real far
Doesn't look back for anything
It's almost dawn, her gas is gone
Doesn't look like she'll be resting
She must know something
That the others don't
Her name is Aunt McGee
She can take you down with only her knee
She must know something
That the others don't
Her name is Aunt McGee
She can take you down with only her knee
She takes the time to wine and dine
She's gonna need food where she's going
The take-out bag is just a rag
But carries everything that she's toting
She must know something
That the others don't
Her name is Aunt McGee
She can take you down with only her knee
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2. |
Can't Find It (My Eye)
01:26
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3. |
Dandelion Masher
01:32
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Mash it well, dandelion masher
Mash it well, like a good masher should
Mash it well, dandelion masher
Mash the dandelion, and not the wood
The dandelion paste is on your eye
The dandelion paste so you don't die
The dandelion paste is on a leaf
The dandelion paste to give relief
Take a rock, mash it into the ground
Build it up, mold it into a mound
Make sure that it doesn't turn brown
Leave it up, until it falls down
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4. |
Garbage Goes
02:07
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I know where all the garbage goes to
I know where all the garbage goes
it's not that I'm a madman
it's just that i'm insane
I looked towards building
(I know where the garbage goes)
then it collapsed
(I know where the garbage goes)
I don't have anything
(I know where the garbage goes)
but I wear a hat
(and I know where the garbage goes)
throw logs into the river
throw frogs into the sky
i think that things are worthless
if they don't have an eye
I looked towards building
(I know where the garbage goes)
then it collapsed
(I know where the garbage goes)
I don't have anything
(I know where the garbage goes)
but I wear a hat
(and I know where the garbage goes)
if you describe what I'm saying
then you will have to use these words
interesting conversations
unless you tar and feather all o' the little birds
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5. |
Destroy the Stoat!
00:39
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save the man in the moat
we must destroy his little stoat
A man sinks inside his pastry moat
the verdict is in -- destroy the stoat!
save the man in the moat
we must destroy his little stoat
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6. |
Flying Goats
01:43
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Taste the cereal in my mouth
Take the rings off my hand
Look at what my eyes see
Remove the brain from my skull
The man's eyes rolled back in his head as he fell from the treetops where
he had been watching through the window of his neighbor's daughter's home.
He came to a bird in the air, and grasped at its wings. It didn't work.
Breaking chicken finger-legs
Dropping all the wood chairs
Found the lobster in my box
Horseshoe crabs destroy shoes
Follow the flow that is below
Cut up the bicycle
Knock out the repo man
Copy off the teacher's test
She saw him staring in her window. She threw a goat out the window.
As she watched the goat fall, she had realized her mistake. Goats can't
fly…..or can they? Yes, they can. The goat soared above the man, and
he grabbed at its feathers. It still didn't work. Paste.
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7. |
Odin, God of the North
02:47
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Alive in a barn, looking 'round the hay
I misplaced my yarn just the other day
I jumped in the stall to look by the horse
And out came Odin, God of the Norse!
He said to me, "My boy I have your yarn.
You will go on a journey outside of the farm
To look for my people that are in a fort
They are the ones that call me God of the North"
I am the God of the North
I am the God of the Norse
I ride around on a horse
'Cause I am the God of the North
So I did as Odin said
I ran outside to find his clan, even though I had no plan
I know, I know that I will lose
because my quest is like my shoes
they never fail to make me bruised
I ran away to go find his people
They were missing from their steeple
I looked everywhere but could not find them
Because they didn't leave a trail of phlegm
I am the God of the North
I am the God of the Norse
I ride around on a horse
'Cause I am the God of the North
One day I chanced upon a little slug
He was crawling around on my new rug
This slug knew where the people were
So I implored him, "Please tell me, sir."
He said, "Son I'll tell you where they are
But first you must travel to my car."
"What is this you say," said I to the half-snail
"Don't call me that or your mission will fail"
I am the God of the North
I am the God of the Norse
I ride around on a horse
'Cause I am the God of the North
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8. |
Nice Corner of Hell
02:30
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One of these days, I'm going to move to the nice corner of Hell, where you can put your feet up on the coffee table and our little kids can run around and have fun.
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9. |
Snot Patty Shack Shanty
01:06
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I want to live in the snot patty land
I want to grab me the snot patty’s hand
I've got the key to the snot patty land
I want to play in the snot patty band
Lick off the hair on the back of the yak
Come get your snacks at the Snot Patty Shack
Look out below, now the snot patty’s back!
I can't find my eye in this pile of rocks
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10. |
Snot Patty Reprise
01:43
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I want to bake me a Snot Patty Cake
Drainin' the snake in the Snot Patty Lake
What kind of noise does a Snot Patty make?
Same as the noise when you step on a rake
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11. |
The Ram of Truth
01:32
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Twelve little Johns go by
Look up towards the sky
A building a mile high
Approach the building from afar
You can take your car
It's really not that far
I found the Ram of Truth
I found it in my tooth
Picked up the thongs and died
Drink from this cup of ice
It is really nice
Oh it's nice
The building comes crashing down
Making quite a sound
Killing all the town
I found the Ram of Truth
I found it in my tooth
Picked up the thongs and died
Then they took a ride
Hit by the tide
They landed on their side
I found the Ram of Truth
I found it in my tooth
Picked up the thongs and died
Picked up the thongs and died
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12. |
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drop me off at the airport
i can't wait to go
going to the west Indies
don't know what fo'
my mother always told me
not quite sure why
son, go to the Indies
before you die
now I'm in the west Indies
can't believe I'm here
the people here are friendly
and they all have beards
I've had fun in the Indies
now i wave good-bye
then the natives told me
"now it's time to fly"
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13. |
The Jumblehood
01:53
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If I was to shoehorn my toe
buckling a tree to cut down later
down my flumes goes the crow
tip the manager slap the waiter
I wasn't always this crazy
struck me hard through a window
craziness hit me and made me lazy
crack the whip on my mind we go
give me a pencil and I will show you
drawings from within my mind's eye
you could join me, you draw too
draw a stapling machine on a paper tie
I wasn't always this crazy
struck me hard through a window
craziness hit me and made me lazy
crack the whip on my mind we go
give me my sanity back and i will no longer be mad
perhaps for all that sanity, my sanity is just a fad
just a fad
I wasn't always this crazy
struck me hard through a window
craziness hit me and made me lazy
crack the whip on my mind we go
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14. |
I Love My Sloth
02:17
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I have a sloth
his name is Sam
I don't like him
He has big nails
and they scratch me
until i bleed
He was left
on my doorstep
Oh god, why me?
he follows me
when i go to work
i hate that
he cooks my meals
they're not very good
they're made from trees
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15. |
Clam Song
01:35
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I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
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16. |
Mrs. Grundy
01:27
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Mrs. Grundy sits at home and contemplates the things
that no one ever dares to think about these days
Mrs. Grundy has the plan and throws the parcels in the can
and waits for them to take the can away
Mrs. Grundy knows that the plants will never grow
so she never bothers to water them
Mrs. Grundy has a knife and used it once to take a life
and knows she will never get caught
Mrs. Grundy knows that the plants will never grow
so she never bothers to water them
Mrs. Grundy has a knife and used it once to take a life
and knows she will never get caught
She will never get caught
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17. |
Traveling to Chicago
02:08
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John was my name
John was my game
John...
I play the tuba
But not very well
I went to the store
I couldn't find anything
I was so bored
I began to sing
I broke my arm
I was troubled
I walked very far
I was traveling to...
Chicago
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18. |
Bottle Rockets
00:21
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Bottle rockets
Bottle rockets
Bottle rockets
Bottle rockets
Liver buckets
Liver buckets
Liver buckets
Liver buckets
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19. |
Turkish Oath
01:10
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It comes and goes and with it my woes
The butter is gone but not for long
We need it to feed, we need it to breed
The butter is gone but not for long
Where has all the butter gone?
Where has all the butter gone?
No margarine or those prim slims
Peanut oil works wonders for boils
I like my fat, and also my bat
Peanut oil works wonders for boils
Where has all the butter gone?
Where has all the butter gone?
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20. |
Elephant Waffles
02:03
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General Windsor was a peculiar man, but he knew what he wanted out of life. Walking up the steps to the County Executioner's office, he was struck by an idea. Well, it was a brick, but there was an idea attached to it. General Windsor untied the idea and as he threw it away he couldn't help but wonder what it was. He died three years later.
Don't miss the show
Don't miss the show
Don't miss the Elephant Waffle Show
Pamela wasn't the one who usually got the groceries, but today was Friday so that meant that today it was. Typically she would pick out the things she wanted like an upholstered turkey baster, but it wasn't frozen enough. Three fires started on her way home, they lit the cat on fire and she got down and cried.
Not counting the guide and the tree surgeon, there were four of us. The escape from basement had been harrowing to say the least, but suffice to say we were none the worse for the wear. Excepting of course the cardinal and the little girl who got her head stuck in an iron box.
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21. |
Pee Cats
01:48
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peek at my pee cat, drawer
peek at my pee cat, floor
peek at my pee cat, door
Pee cats, pee cats, pee cats, pee cats
seethe at, see that corn
seethe at, see that mourn
seethe at, see that horn
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22. |
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there's a guy in the street
and he looks rather neat
he's a guy with a gun and a hat
you don't know what to do
when the Toff comes for you
you might think that you do, but you don't
and he comes up to you
and you don't know what to do
and he says "Hello I am the Toff!"
you won't know what to say
when the Toff comes your way
you might think that you will but you won't
He pulls out of his coat
a yellow sticky note
and it says "Hand this back to the Toff!"
and he hands it to you
you don't know what to do
so you simply do what you are told
along comes, golden boy
and he's holding a toy
it's a match and it's lit for the Toff
the Toff bursts into flame
and he yells out his name
"I'm the Toff and I am on fire!"
you just watch, there you stand
but you raise up your hand
in a gesture you salute the Toff
And the Toff, as he dies
and his gaze meets your eye
and he sees your salute
and he sees you with pride
and he knows deep inside
that he won't be denied anymore
because he is the Toff
even though he's in flames
he will not feel ashamed
because this was the day
a salute came his way
then he died.
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23. |
Earwig Song
01:59
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Yesterday I saw a man
He had earwigs in his hand
He said, “Son I'll give these earwigs to you”
I know a guy from Ohio
He had to drain the potato
Then he married the taxidermist
My snail's name is Harold Snail
He has got an enormous tail
Some people say that he is actually a cow
I hate stupid people
I just can't stand them
When I see a stupid person
I get mad
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24. |
Clambake
00:44
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I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
I am unable to pretend, pretend.
Pretend that I am really a clam
A clam that I am not
I am actually a man
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25. |
Hector's Canyon
01:50
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Trembling down to the ground
Begging for some food
They can't have any because
It's not good for you
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26. |
Mind of a Liar
04:56
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Every single day
I get up for work
Liquefy my toast
Then I go berserk
I get in my car
Drive it on the road
Suddenly I stop
Cause I hit a toad
I go to work, you say that I slack
You're such a jerk, get off my back
Walking' around, but you're in my way
Breaking the ankles, each and every day
I get out of work
But my car won't start
I try to fix it
I take it all apart
I ask for a ride
But the answer's no
Have to take a train
Like a hobo
I go to work, you say that I slack
You're such a jerk, get off my back
Walking' around, but you're in my way
Breaking the ankles, each and every day
I go to work, you say that I slack
You're such a jerk, get off my back
Walking' around, but you're in my way
Breaking the ankles, each and every day
Finding my way home
It is getting late
Cannot find my house
What a crappy day
So, I just give up
Live my life away
I'll never get home
I accept my fate
I go to work, you say that I slack
You're such a jerk, get off my back
Walking' around, but you're in my way
Breaking the ankles, each and every day
Liquify your mind
Liquify your mind
Liquify your mind
Liquify your mind
Liquify your mind
Liquify your mind
Look at the radio
Turn on the radio
I look at the radio
I look at the radio
Buttoning my shirt on the radio
UFOs
Hobos
Inside my mind
Hobos
They're doing fine
Walking around in my mind
Hobos
Step on a tack, break your mother's back
hobos hobos
I like hobos
I like hobos
I like hobos
I like hobos
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